My God and Me Blog

Excerpt from My God and Me: Listening, Learning and Growing on My Journey (Jones, 2009)

Does your word choice represent what you really want? Do your actions speak to what you need? Do the people you push away really mean nothing at all, or are you fighting because they matter too much?

Is this a negotiation? Or something that’ll only work on your terms, in your time?  With rules only you know about?

What’s going on? What about me? What about you? Why isn’t there an us? Am I being hyper-sensitive or too obtuse? I thought I had it, but I really don’t get it. Maybe it’s hormones. Maybe it’s frustration or exhaustion. Most likely it’s a combination of everything that represents you and me.

Is this communication really fulfilling to you? Satisfying? Does the avoidance really work for you? I would much rather talk to you face to face. With your arms wrapped around me – I love the way that feels – with your nose nudging mine as your words make their way into my listening heart. I would much rather listen to your touch and read your face. I want to be much more than an influence; I want to be your helper and supporter.

What’s so scary about that? And why are you so willing to gamble this away?

If we weren’t connected, I would believe every no-contact message you send. But it’s not my depression trying to drown me. It’s not my sadness bringing me to tears. It’s yours. Light shined on my darkness long ago. If I must hurt with you, why won’t you let me help you work through it?

Who’s to say anything about the future? Yet we have power over the direction we take today. Making no decision is still a choice you’re responsible for. Silence is a response. Even if I choose to ignore it for a while, I may one day accept it as a final reply.

I appreciate and respect inner struggle – I recommend it for character building. But, all I’m saying is: Invite me in.

Meditation Verse: 1 Peter 3:8-9

Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous;not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing.

Filed under: Practicing Patience Through Dating, Preparation for the Marriage Relationship on December 8th, 2012 | No Comments »

Dear Readers:

My God and Me Blog has migrated to Shawnda’s Spirit Harvest Blog. Please join me there.

For material after July 1, 2012 please visit Shawnda’s Spirit Harvest Blog. The My God and Me Blog will stay up as an archive, but no new material will be posted here.

I have also started a more regular blog titled, Get Up & Walk, Ride or Fly. I plan to post 15-20 short pieces per month reflecting on daily life. My hope is that Get Up & Walk, Ride or Fly will be attractive to those who are trying to work a Christian lifestyle into their daily life. Please stop by and bring someone as well. 

Thanks for visiting. I hope I’ve contributed positive, productive words for your journey and I look forward to continuing to share the lessons I receive on my journey.

Go, walk in your blessings and be a blessing to others.

With love,

LaShawnda

aka Shawnda

www.facebook.com/mygodandme

www.facebook.com/spiritharvest1

Filed under: On the Road, Walking in the Word on September 19th, 2012 | No Comments »

Recently, I had a showdown with an office bully whose bullying status I had previously been unaware of. She’s a smooth manipulator and it’s only been in the past couple of months that I’ve been able to see her machinations. I don’t work in the dark and I don’t speak in riddles. I say what I mean and I mean what I say. And as often as it’s within my control (very often), my actions line up with my words. For this reason liars in both word and deed can escape detection for some time with me because I have a tendency to also take people at their word. (I truly don’t think there’s any reason to ever lie, so I do assume people are speaking their truth to me.)

This office bully, like many other bullies before her in my life, took my kindness as a weakness. She took my simple nature for ignorance. I used ask why people mistreated me. I used to wonder what people could have against openness and joy. How can people nonchalantly or viciously trample on offers of friendship and love? But now I know they are not attacking “LaShawnda the person”, they are attacking the Spirit housed within me. Truly, what fellowship does darkness have with light? They are fighting against everything in me that’s exposing everything they wish to keep hidden in them. I see too much. I hear too much. I feel too much. I understand too much. I offer too much. I am strengthened in all my senses by the Holy Spirit of Jesus Christ.

I don’t back down from bullies. I have no intention of backing down from this one. I believe everyone and everything that even attempts to instill fear needs to be confronted. I needed this person to know I am not afraid of her. My kindness is not fear-based; it’s love based. I’m not a punk. The more anyone gets me twisted the more foolish they’re going to look. My career is not in her hands; she has no say over my future – she may think she does, because she’s putting stock in the hierarchy of the world. But I know who controls my life and my future. I know who favors and positions me. And I know that as long as I stand up for the truth that is the Spirit within me, the selfsame Spirit will guide and protect me. There is no fear in my body because I know whatever space I give to fear is multiplied by the loss of love.

I’ve been telling people for years: Whatever fear you have, simply shine a light on it. Fear cannot stand up to light. It’s the same with bullies. Bullies are cowards at heart. They are masters of hiding their hurts, pains, and insecurities from others while projecting the same onto others. They prey on the fears of people they PERCEIVE to be weaker than them. My solution? Change the bully’s perception. Stand up to him/her. Speak up. Fight back (this is not always physical). When you hold your ground, they will back down. Even if you lose the fight, you will win the war; because of the innate cowardice of bullies, they seek easy prey, they cannot handle resistance. Keep that in mind during your next bully confrontation.

Be blessed in the knowledge that what is for you is for you and someone can only take what is yours if you allow them to.

But David said to him, “You come to me using a sword and two spears. But I come to you in the name of the Lord All-Powerful, the God of the armies of Israel! You have spoken against him. Today the Lord will hand you over to me, and I’ll kill you and cut off your head. Today I’ll feed the bodies of the Philistine soldiers to the birds of the air and the wild animals. Then all the world will know there is a God in Israel! Everyone gathered here will know the Lord does not need swords or spears to save people. The battle belongs to him, and he will hand you over to us.”

So David defeated the Philistine with only a sling and a stone. He hit him and killed him. He did not even have a sword in his hand.  (1 Samuel 17:45-47, 50, NCV)

Filed under: Courage, Knowledge & Understanding, Life on June 18th, 2012 | No Comments »

Question: Why share false messages you don’t want people to believe? Why promote beliefs your own life can’t testify to? Why not simply preach Jesus? Why not present the gospel, the only true doctrine, to the world as it was presented to us?

Brothers and sisters, think about the things that are good and worthy of praise. Think about the things that are TRUE and HONORABLE and RIGHT and PURE and BEAUTIFUL and RESPECTED. Do what you learned and received from me, what I told you, and what you saw me do. And the God who gives peace will be with you.  ~ Philippians 4:8-9, NCV

I knew someone who was at the beginning of her walk with God. She was thirsty. She was hungry. She was passionate. She was also unfocused and easily swayed. She asked for my opinion on her Biblical studies quite often. as you can imagine, I didn’t mind sharing it at length. She also asked many others within her circle their opinions and perspectives  on her study topics at any given time.  As a result, she got as many opinions on one topic as the number of people she asked. This frustrated her. And she couldn’t understand why there was no consensus within the Body. However, having her choice of opinions to agree with, she tended to gravitate towards the harsher and darker viewpoints. So much so, that she began to focus on the superstitions of the illuminati and considered it her duty to educate people on the dangers alleged “devil worshipping” celebrities posed to the believing Christian.

I often got upset and impatient with her because she was speaking filth into my ears that I otherwise would not have been exposed to. Why was she exposing me to something she didn’t want me to believe in and be deceived by? At the same time she’s sharing with me the evil master-plans of spiritually compromised celebrities, she was not interested in hearing my rebuke that the gospel – the good news Jesus preached – was the only thing she needed to preach to others.  The Word of God is the only word she needed to study for understanding. Why? Because when people have the Word of God in them, His Word shines a light on all the darkness within them. It may be a slow process but the Word will work to eradicate all the surrounding darkness within the person believing and speaking it. That’s a guarantee from God Himself – He cannot coexist with evil.

It’s your sins that have cut you off from God. Because of your sins, He has turned away and will not listen anymore.  ~ Isaiah 59:2, NLT

So, if you’re busy trying to understand evil things, you’re equally busy pushing God out of your heart. We are told in Philippians 4:8-9 to think only on good, pure things. This isn’t a clueless instruction given to make us feel good. It’s good instruction because the things you think about are the things you become like.

Want to become more Christ-like?

Think about Christ. Consider His ways. Meditate on His teachings. Become His disciple. Practice what He preached. Stop studying all the negative things of world and giving attention to the evil things of darkness. Don’t introduce hate to those who have not been tainted by its baleful bitterness. Christ did not succumb to the world; He came to redeem it with His goodness (obedience) and truth (the word in Him).

Be at peace. He has already overcome and made a way for you to do the same.

Filed under: Life, Walking in the Word on June 7th, 2012 | No Comments »

I used to clean toilets.

At sixteen years old, I started at the bottom rung of the fast food restaurant ladder. My first job was as a crew person at a chain restaurant. If there were no customers to serve, my secondary duties consisted of cleaning base boards, sweeping and mopping the floor, washing dishes, taking out trash, and cleaning up the bathrooms. Yuck… but I didn’t complain – it was part of the job I signed up for. Soon, I was a trainer, responsible for teaching others the details of restaurant maintenance and upkeep. After my eighteenth birthday I made shift manager with the responsibility of running one of three shifts a day at a profit while keeping the store clean and orderly and providing excellent customer service in 90 seconds or less. There was a progression of details I needed learn in order to operate the business, but my overall training began with the most menial.

These years provided my true foundational business education.

Had it been up to me, I would have been interning at an advertising agency during high school – an unpaid errand girl learning all about the artifices of the world. But my choice jobs didn’t want me. My guadian at the time, an aunt, was certain a fast food chain would not turn me down. She was so determined to get me working she drove me to the restaurant, made me fill out an application while she waited for me, and assured the hiring manager she would pick me up after later shifts. I think I was hired on the spot. In my aunt’s opinion, at age sixteen, I was becoming a young woman and needed to be able to finance my personal needs as well as my school expenses.

This was my first lesson on personal financial responsibility.

Today I work for one of the top fifteen companies in the Fortune 500 – in a support role on the executive floor – as I’ve been told numerous times, it doesn’t matter that I’m an assistant, it matters that I am well-positioned.

Supporting people was not my idea of a career path when I was in college – I was focused on the management and ownership tracks. However, this unplanned administrative assistant career has been the best possible training for me. With all sincerity I say God has brought me to where I am and along the route of His choosing for His purposes in my life.   

The details make up the whole.

Focusing on the details of life – how I live, who I share my time with, what I think and how I share my beliefs – allows for a greater spotlight to be placed on my life in general… or rather I won’t be ashamed when the spotlight hits me because my shadowy areas are just as clean as my well-lit areas.   

What I learned from my restaurant years is that a dirty restroom can ruin an otherwise perfect visit. Crumbs on the floor can invite a trail of ants that will in turn have parents snatching up their children and running from the restaurant. What I’ve learned from my corporate years is that a hospitable spirit and gracious personality will open more doors than any degree will. At this level, everyone has some impressive education or experience, but not everyone has an impressive attitude or character.

We can understand God’s plans for us better when we look back and see what He has done for us, what He has brought us through, and what lessons He is insistent we learn from repetitious situations in our lives. I can tell you now, even though I am not sure what my next or final roles will be here on earth, I am certain that they will be a culmination of everything I’ve learned and experienced up to that point.

Life… everyday life, full of details we pay little attention to, is the beginning of our ministry to others in the Body of Christ. You may think you have nothing worth sharing, but I assure you, your life is a beacon to someone within elbow or shouting distance.

“The people should not think that small beginnings are unimportant. They will be happy when they see Zerubbabel with tools, building the Temple. (These are the seven eyes of the Lord, which look back and forth across the earth.)”  ~ Zechariah 4:10

Filed under: Life, Testimony on June 5th, 2012 | No Comments »